Perspective

A few weeks ago I sat in this room in São Paulo Brazil. I sat as our pastor filmed the story of these two men. A story that challenged me ... because it gave me a huge slice of perspective.

You see the man in the pink shirt is an alcoholic and once was a bad criminal. The man in the aqua shirt is now a pastor who was once a police man who tried to kill the man in the pink shirt many times for his criminal acts .... They are now friends! Oh the story is amazing and I won't spoil it as soon it will be put to video where you can hear in their own words, their story. But for me it was crazy perspective ... Our family has been walking through something over the past few months that has really been challenging to me. It has rocked my world in ways that I really can't even put words to.

Yet as I sat in that room and listened to a language I didn't understand and then heard an interpretation and began to understand this man's story ... God spoke to me. I went up to the room that we were staying in and looked out over the favellas. Looked out over the streets and at the people who were milling around in the streets. It was there that God showed me how wonderful it is that I live in a place where no matter what I may face there is help available for that and a community who surrounds me and supports me.

This man and his wife are both battling addictions and help is just not as easy for them to find. To break the cycle of addiction to alcohol and drugs they need help and it's just not right around the corner. They live in the favella where rats steal what little bit of food that they have ... yeah it offered me a huge slice of perspective.

Can't wait for you to hear this story ... hopefully, each day we look around at what we have and are thankful because no matter our story, no matter where we are now ... there is someone somewhere who has a story that is worse off. And I'd be willing to bet that no matter your story, no matter how hard it is right now, there is someone who would trade places with you in a heartbeat - a HEARTBEAT ... even if your story is not wrapped up with a pretty bow on top ...

9 Years together ...

9 Years ago two incredibly naive people walked into a church filled with family and friends eager to get married. Marriage, marriage is what brought us together that day! ;) (two points if you get the reference) However, we had NO clue what the road ahead would bring us. None!

As a single girl you dream your whole life possibly, of the day you will put on a white gown and have your father or someone walk you down an aisle so that you can meet your handsome groom at the end and be joined together in a union that will last until death do you part ...

That is the way it is supposed to be at least ... the death you do part statement. A lot of us look at marriages around us and we project that they are happy as they appear to be and some are, but I'd be willing to bet that many, sadly many are just faking it hoping they will make it. They aren't sure if they will make it to the end of the week much less the ends of their lives. Marriage takes hard work. Hard work by two messed up people whose lives have been joined by a vow and a mutual love for the other.

What is a vow? To me, the vow I made 9 years ago is what I leaned on when times got tough in our marriage. I won't bore you with the gory details of our "stuff" but there was a day when we could have thrown in the towel and said "I quit, I'm done". Honestly that day was more real and scary that I'd like to admit. However, the Lord kept reminding me of the fact that I made a vow not only to Jeremy, but to HIM. I stood before my family and my friends and I said that for better or WORSE I would honor, love and respect my husband. I hadn't done a very good job at that during the "worse" moments of my marriage. The Lord reminded me of so much that I felt walking out would be so dishonoring of Him and my vow to both my Lord and my husband. So you know what, we dug in our heals and we did some hard fighting. We had some amazing friends who stood in the trenches with us and were on their knees praying for us during that time.

So here we are 9 years later, a stronger couple than we could have ever imagined walking into that church in GA that hot Saturday in August. Our union is stronger than I ever dreamed it would be during our "worse" moments. I'm thankful for those who stood by us, fought with us, loved us and prayed with us through our hard times.

Jeremy, I love you more than I can express. The man you are today is a strong man. One who loves the Lord and his wife and family. One who puts his God first, wife second and family next. One who I'm proud to say wears my ring on his left hand. I'm proud of the family that God gave us. I look forward to many, many more years ahead. I look forward to wherever God will lead us together ... It's going to be amazing babe! I'm thankful I get to do this journey WITH you! Thanks for asking me to walk beside you through life! I'm thankful for the lessons we have learned since that hot day in August 2003! I LOVE YOU!

The grass is not greener on the other side of the street ... the grass is greener where it is water and fertilized. How are you watering and fertilizing your marriage?

Oh what a night!

So I couldn't sleep last night! From like 2 AM on I was tossing and turning. I think I finally went back to sleep around 5:45 AM ... Just in time to get up at 6ish. Perfect! :)

You would think that I was going into labor tomorrow or next month not 4ish months from now, give or take. I was going through names in my head, trying to figure out what color to paint the nursery, pining over peoples reaction and thinking about Jeremy's new project in our garage. :) Oy vey, those of you that know me really well will just smile and laugh at me because you know this is me. Others will want to have me locked up in a padded room or something - don't worry this is just me. I'm a planner and that switch is so hard to turn off! So hard!

Naming this baby has been something we have talked about for a while. We had names already picked out with the boys if they were boys before the ultrasound so it was so easy. Kennedy was harder even though Kennedy was our girl name had Ryan been a girl. For some reason we didn't just LOVE it when we heard the tech tell us we were having a girl. Now, we had a boy name picked out going into our ultrasound but we are miles away from a girl name. There is a name we both love BUT I'm afraid of what may come for my girls if we name this one that name. So we are both still tossing it around. Maybe one day we will throw it on the blog for a poll and get your thoughts - all 5 of your thoughts :)

Oh well, I must get my munchkins up and ready for church. Tomorrow school starts so we have a ton of things to do today to get ready for tomorrow. I can't believe I'll have a first grader and a kindergartner in my house. Teary just typing that .....

Lately ...

I've been chewing on the words to this song lately ....

The Stand - Hillsong

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand

You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand

So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You

So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all

So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours

I love the words to this song ... I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned In awe of the ONE who gave it all ... what does that mean to you? I've been chewing on that line for several weeks now. I've been asking myself what it means to stand with arms high and heart abandoned ... To give ALL of me To Him who gave ALL for me. I think if we are all honest, we try to hold on to parts of us ... thinking that we are better off taking care of it or holding it. In the end I find that I always, ALWAYS fail when I hold back, when I don't give all. He is SO much more capable of handling my life than I am. He longs to have all of you and me, yet why are we so afraid to give it ALL to him?

Let's resolve to give All of us to the ONE who gave it all for us. He is so much more able than you and I. He can handle it all, He knows it all and yet he wants it all! Let's stand with arms high and hearts abandoned .... I'm standing ... will you?

GPS?

It's funny how much I rely on our GPS ... never really new I relied on it until I was in our other car that doesn't have it. This past weekend I was able to travel (alone) back to the place we just moved away from to witness a sweet couple's baptism. There were a couple times over the weekend when it would have come in quite handy. A couple wrong turns landed me in the wrong area and a few u-turns could have been avoided.

It got me to thinking spiritually ... I mean I had A LOT of time alone in the car to think over the past 3 days. How many times do we turn off the Holy Spirit in our lives? I see the Holy Spirit kinda like a GPS ... the HS is there to guide us and tell us where to go or not go, turn or not turn. We can either follow his lead or we can go our own way. Sometimes we can ignore the HS and try to make our own way ... it ALWAYS ends in disaster.

You see, I was in a familiar place. I had travled these roads before (some of them) yet I didn't have a guide with me telling me where to turn. I was trying to do it on my own and from my own memory. Had I had that GPS I would have gotten where I intended to go faster and without so many u-turns. It's the same way with the HS...we can't leave him at home because when we belong to Christ he is always with us but we can ignore his promptings in our life. We can tune our ears to our own prompts and ignore the warning signs that may be present. We may be in a place that brings us enjoyment (for a moment) but we will not like the destination if we ignore the promptings of the HS. Only when we follow his guidance and end up in the destination he has for us will we find true joy and contentment.

Who's leading you? Do you lead yourself or do you allow Christ to guide your steps?

Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

⁶ in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight

Cloud of Witnesses

Hebrews 12: 1-3

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

Yesterday during my quiet time I was led to the verses above. Got me to thinking about the "cloud of witnesses". There are many interpretations for what a cloud of witnesses is. I love the image of a “cloud of witnesses” urging us on. Some think that means those who have gone before us, but I like to think of them as those who are with us, surrounding us now. I've heard them referred to as "Balcony people".

Balcony People are people who positively impact your life. They are the people who are cheering you on in both the good times and who walk with you during the hard times. I think of them as I am running the race of life ... they are in the stands along my run, cheering me on. Giving me encouragement, advice, admonishment when I need it, and sometimes they join me in the race when my legs may be ready to give out from running. Balcony people understand when you do not want them around but stand by just in case you change your mind when you face speed bumps along your path. They help you fix your eyes on Jesus when your vision is a little blurry.

As I pondered these verses I really thought about the people who are "balcony people" in my life and thanked God for them. They are people who may never know the value of their cheer leading yet they cheer anyway. I've prayed for balcony people in my life and am thankful that God has placed them as a part of my journey. They have had deep impacts in my life and my walk with Christ. They have encouraged me, cheered for me, stood by me, waited on me, at times they run with me and at other times they have carried me when I couldn't run. I'm so thankful for my balcony people and I hope they know it!

I hope you have balcony people in your life. If not pray that God would send you some people who will spur you on for the better, people who will pull you up and not down. If you already have them ... thank them for being a balcony person in your life.

While I'm Waiting

Heard this song in a movie and fell in love with it ... It's called While I'm Waiting By John Waller



I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Be Still

I am always jotting down thoughts, a line or two from a book I am reading, something our pastor preached on, something that was said at MomSense, or maybe just something that caught my eye. I write them in my journal or my Bible.

The other day I ran across one of those thoughts that I wrote down . On one whole page of my journal I had written just the words “Be still and know that I am God…” Psalm 46:10a in the center of the page. No matter what may be happening at this moment, God is God and He is in control. I don’t begin to think that I can understand the why things happen question. What I do know is that “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” (Psalm 46:1) He has it all under control. I can rest in that knowledge.

Today I wrote out Psalm 46:10 written like this:

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I am.

Be still and know.

Be still.

Be.

So as I go through today I am reminding myself that I know God is with me. He is in control. He knows what is ahead and He will help. He sees the whole picture. He knows how it will all fit together.

I can be still, not stressed, anxious, worried, or even in a hurry (the hurry one is huge for me). Instead, I will allow myself to be still and rest in the knowledge that He is God. What freedom there is when I stop trying to figure things out. Be still and know!!

How about you?? What verse are you chewing on lately?